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Choosing
your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids.
Getting Married?
Choose your bridal party with
care and understanding. A bride's
friendships may suffer if she
blunders in choosing her maid
of honor and bridesmaids.
A
bride may hurt the feelings
of her friends (or sisters or
cousins) by not choosing them
to be part of her wedding party
- but she may also place a heavy
burden on them by selecting
them.
The
friend to whom she offers the
position of maid of honor might
not wish to plan and fund a
bridal shower, with its inherent
cost of time and money.
In
addition to planning and funding
the shower (often with help
and funding from the bridesmaids),
the maid of honor is expected
to give a shower gift, a wedding
gift and fork out money for
a gown - a gown that she may
not like or may never wear again!
The
maid of honor and the bridesmaids
are expected to attend the rehearsal,
rehearsal dinner and, perhaps,
other pre-wedding parties. They
are also expected to help in
writing envelopes, attending
shopping expeditions and dress
fittings, and be available to
help with any chores needed
on the big day.
Some
brides get so caught up in the
excitement of planning one of
the most important days in their
life that they forget that their
wedding is of less importance
to the maid of honor and the
bridesmaids.
A
bride must be careful to choose
her maids wisely, so as to do
as little damage as possible
to the relationships she cherishes.
A
bride should review the costs
her maids would incur - both
in time and money. If someone
she plans to ask to be maid
of honor or bridesmaid is unlikely
to have the funds to spare,
the bride should consider offering
to help with the cost of the
dress and the shower. If a friend
may need to fly into town for
a shower or other pre-wedding
event, the bride should consider
the logistics her friend faces
in doing so.
After
determining her choices for
maid of honor and bridesmaids,
the bride should ask each friend,
privately, whether she wishes
to take on the duties involved.
The bride should make it clear
that she would understand should
her friend decline.
In
addition to considering cost
and time, the bride should choose
friendship over size and weight.
For instance, no one will remember
that one of the bridesmaids
was a little taller than the
usher with whom she was paired;
however, a friend will remember
that she was passed over because
she didn't fit into the bride's
height requirements.
Remember
that friendships are for life,
while the most elaborate wedding
is over in a matter of hours.
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