Choosing
your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids.
Getting
Married? Choose your bridal party with care and
understanding!
A bride's friendships may suffer if she blunders
in choosing her maid of honor and bridesmaids. But,
by choosing maids wisely, she can avoid damaging
cherished relationships.
A
bride may hurt the feelings of her friends (or sisters
or cousins) by not choosing them to be part of her
wedding party - but, by selecting them, she may
be saddling them with a heavy burden.
The friend to whom she offers the position of maid
of honor might not wish to plan and fund a bridal
shower, with its inherent cost of time and money.
In addition to planning and funding the shower (often
with help and funding from the bridesmaids), the
maid of honor is expected to give a shower gift,
a wedding gift and shell out money for a gown -
a gown that she may not like or ever wear again!
The maid of honor and the bridesmaids are also expected
to attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and, perhaps,
other pre-wedding parties. Other obligations often
include addressing envelopes, attending shopping
expeditions and dress fittings, and assisting the
bride with any chores needed on the big day.
Some brides get so caught up in the excitement of
planning one of the most important days in their
life that they forget that, to the maid of honor
and the bridesmaids, the wedding is a less significant
day.
A bride should review the costs and inconveniences
her maids would incur. If someone she plans to ask
to be a maid is unlikely to have the funds to spare,
the bride should consider offering to help with
the cost of the dress and the shower. If a friend
may need to fly into town for a shower or other
pre-wedding event, the bride should consider the
logistics her friend faces in doing so.
After determining her choices for maids, the bride
should ask each friend, privately, whether she wishes
to take on the duties involved. The bride should
make it clear that she would understand should her
friend decline.
In addition to considering cost and time, the bride
should choose friendship over aesthetics. No one
will remember that one of the bridesmaids was a
little taller or tubbier than the usher with whom
she was paired; however, a friend will remember
that she was overlooked, and that friendship will
be damaged forever.
Remember that friendships are for life, while the
most elaborate wedding is over in a matter of hours.
